The
Gift of Years
I celebrated my 60th
birthday this year. When I first
began to think about reaching that “milestone” in my life, my thoughts turned
to my Dad, who died very suddenly and unexpectedly from a cerebral hemorrhage
at the age of forty-nine. I also
remembered five-year old Holly, whose funeral I conducted following her
death from complications of a severe asthma attack. And there were so many others—gone much too
soon, having never reached the age of 60 years.
So although there was a part of me that simply wanted to deny how “old” I was getting, I
was also aware of how blessed
by God I was to have reached this “milestone!” And so, I decided to celebrate and give
thanks for God’s gift of abundant
life…..60 years of blessing and bounty!
I have also
noticed as I have grown older, that my priorities
have begun to change. I take some things
more seriously and other things less seriously; some things are more
important to me now than they were before and other things are less
important. Realizing that more of my life lies “behind”
me and less of it lies “ahead”
of me tends to make me more discriminate
and judicious in the delegation of my
time and in the
activities/tasks to which I devote my time and energy. I find that developing and broadening
relationships with people (both
within and beyond the church) are now the top
priority for me, always trumping reports,
projects, Newsletter articles (yes, this one was late!), and property concerns. That is not
to say that people and relationships are not a part of reports, projects, Newsletter articles
and property concerns, it is just to
say that, in my experience, people and relationships usually get
“pushed aside” or “left behind” in order to complete and deal with
the reports, projects, Newsletter
articles and property concerns.
I always scan the obituary
pages now……and far too often, I find people I know and folks younger than me listed there. That has a greater impact on me now than it
used to. I know that people aren’t dying
at a faster rate today than they did ten years ago, but it sure does seem that
way to me some days. I liked it
better when there was at least one generation “older” than
me to turn to and to depend upon for guidance and reassurance. I’m not so sure I like becoming a member
of an “older generation” myself.
I don’t feel ready for that
much responsibility. But ready or not, God leads me
onward.
And that’s the thing…..I’m never alone in this
journey called life. No matter what…..God remains with me. As uncertain as the future may seem, God
calls me into that future and leads
me by the hand, if I am willing to be led. When I was serving as the Chaplain at Artman
Lutheran Home in Ambler and shared with several of the residents my difficulty
in getting used to my new “bi-focal” glasses, one of the
residents remarked, “Pastor Carol, you’re
just beginning……you’ve got a L O N G way to go!” How right she was! And now that I’ve made the transition to “tri-focals,”
sometimes feeling like a “bobble-head doll” when trying to find the right spot
on my glasses to focus properly, I often remember Edith’s words of wisdom….“Pastor Carol, you’re just beginning……you’ve
got a L O N G way to go!”
There is much about “growing older” that is unsettling. I am only just
beginning to grapple with some of these things, I realize. But I do know that trying to
compensate for things that are out of my
control by attempting to control or attain power over other things, is not going to make my life’s journey any easier. Accepting personal responsibility
for my own actions and decisions isn’t always easy, but it is what God intends
and expects from me and from us, as a gathered community of faith.
God has created us to be people in
relationship……first and foremost, more than anything else, that’s what was,
and is
always the priority for God.
Let’s make sure that we keep that a priority in our life together
as a community of God’s people. After
all, we’ve just begun……we’ve
got a L O N G way to go….together!
Yours in
Christ,
Pastor Carol
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